The question “what did they mine on
Mines Road?” or was it named after someone named Mines prompted me
to open the Interwebs and do a little investigation. It turns out
there was coal in them thar hills back in the day. To the east of
Mines Road, Tesla Road continues into Corral Hollow, which was a rich
coal mining area. A little known fact is that before coal was
discovered in 1855, the Vikings settled here, navigating their Viking
ships through the Golden Gate and up the Sacramento delta, until they
ran aground. Working southward, they made the lush hills of the
Livermore area their home, ranging their cattle on the abundant
pastures and using their horns for their helmets.
[More information on the history of the
area can be found here.]
It is here that today's story begins.
Starting just south of the Murrietta's
Well historical marker, at hours known only to owls and hunters,
we donned our cycling shoes, gathered our water and our strength, and
mounted our trusty steeds in dreaded anticipation of the next 9 hours
in the saddle. For, although we were out here in cowboy country, it
was not on the backs of large beasts of burden that we'd be
traversing this rugged landscape. Nay, we would be providing our own
horsepower. One roasted potato or banana at at time. On a much
narrower saddle.
Our route would take us 44 miles to the
south and west, and then turn northward to complete the loop for 108
miles total.
When we began, we were handed a route
sheet. Fearless leader thoughtfully provided an elevation profile.
Mostly flat, with Jane Russell laying somewhere in the middle. What
wasn't clear was that Jane Russell's ta-tas dwarfed the other
“bumps” along the way, making some serious “bumps” appear
like goosebumps.... I believe there also may have been some
photoshopping to make the actual saw-tooth ride profile seem a little
more derailleur friendly.
Mines Road – a pleasant ride in the
early morning. The remaining scrubby wildflowers glow in the soft
morning light. A few bunnies cross in front of us. Fluffy white tails
scramble into the bushes. Later in the day, I'm told, the heat can be
unbearable. The road trails a steep hill side with a western
exposure. The sun warms the rocky facade and radiates the heat.
However, it also starts out with a
climb. (there seems to be a pattern with our rides: always UP). The
first little rise looks innocuous. Not so bad. I don't need to granny
this. I can even stay in my middle ring for this. Until we make the
first left hand bend. Oh. It's longer. Much longer. Better shift down
and spin it out.
I actually like a little climb in the
beginning of the ride – not anything huge, but something to get my
blood flowing helps me to warm up much more quickly than 10 miles of
flats where I just feel sluggish and inadequate. I might add that I
often feel sluggish and inadequate, but at least when I'm climbing
I'm distracted from that by my misery.
The authorities have thoughtfully
provided mile markers to let us know how much longer our misery might
continue. Ostensibly for air patrol in the event of fires, but we
cyclists know (and it IS all about us, dontyouforget) it's really the
count down to the summit of Mt. Hamilton (or Jane Russell's
right....)
Once we climb for a bit, the road
“flattens” into some rollers. We follow a creek bed for a bit.
Climb some more. On one stretch, we see an A-frame sign (borrowed
from a realtor, no doubt) with poster board taped to it. In large
hand-written block letters, the word “Viking” with an arrow
pointing right.
We look right. Behind a trail gate
stands a Viking. WTF?! He waves. We wave. We continue on. Just what
was slipped into our water bottles, anyway? If we hadn't all seen the
Viking... but we did. He was real.
A few miles later, we pass a cattle
round up. Lot's of cute little moo-cows and moo-calves in a large
pen. Maybe a branding? Men in their summer straw cowboy hats stand on
the rail. The calves stare at us curiously. Could we really be their
first exposure to cyclists? Back country cows, not like those worldly
urban Marin cows--cycling's in their milk... just as we pass,
a single cow lows like a cellist in a subway tunnel.
Pedaling along, a man sits on a fire
hydrant under a tree. With his brief case and a reusable grocery bag,
he waits. He waves. We wave. We joke he's waiting for the Mt.
Hamilton casual carpool. I'm beginning to feel like I'm in the middle
of a Monty Python skit and soon shrubberies will begin exploding.
And this is all before our first “real”
climb of the day. Delirium couldn't possibly be setting in already.
It's not even 10AM!
Eventually, we make it to The Junction
– the nexus of San Antonio Valley Road, Del Puerto Canyon Road and
Mines Road. The
Junction. Serving such fine wines as
Burgundy,
Chablis, Chardonnay, Chillable Red, White Zinfandel, they also offer
burgers, sandwiches, fries, cheese fries, chili cheese fries... and
strawberry shortcake! Perhaps sometime I'll be lucky enough to
actually be by there when it's open. Meanwhile, they generously allow
cyclists to use the porta-potties. Our SAG gods had pulled out into
the wide spot in the road next to their driveway. Our first
opportunity to refuel, refill, reapply and empty, not necessarily in
that order.
In
the San Antonio Valley, I see Yellow-billed Magpies, Acorn
Woodpeckers and an unidentified Oriole among the usual sparrow
suspects. We ride past hundreds of ground squirrels who race us and
dodge into their underground bunkers.
Mile
26.5. The top of Hamilton comes at mile 44. We still have a few bumps
before the climb begins in earnest. And then it comes. Bianchini,
meet Jane Russell. Up we go. Up. Up. Up. Please level just a little,
I plea to an immovable anomaly in topography: rocks formed in the
Upper Cretaceous period at least 65 million years ago. Like the rocks
care about this tiny speck trying to scale its exterior. I'm on roads
created from trails broken hundreds of years ago. These roads weren't
built for cyclists. They were built for sure-footed creatures who
could navigate steep slopes, not
pathetic hairless creatures on two feet who think it's a great idea
to ride two wheeled vehicles for entertainment.
But
there I was, seemingly on purpose. Like I signed up for this somehow.
Please, I said. I just don't have enough pain and suffering in my
life. Make me go on bike rides that take me up mountains when it's
really hot. Make my teammates suffer so much they completely cramp
up. Or throw up on the climb. Yes, this is what I want! I must have
this!
Eventually,
a breeze slips through some trees and down the hill. I am encouraged
by this because I allow myself to be deluded by the notion that
mountaintops are windy; ergo, wind = top. So as the breeze increases,
besides cooling my overheating head and feet, it gives me hope that I
can finish this #$%%$#$##!! climb without stopping or falling over.
But there's a twist. Always one more twist. At the top of Mt.
Hamilton, the last mile turns steep again. A nice little F-You to the
cyclist. Nature laughs last.
Our
SAG from Jane's armpit hopscotched us and was waiting at the top with
more water and soda. Nothing like a coke after a 6 mile climb. Or
even a pepsi. We congratulated each other for a job well done and
cheered in those arriving after us. A last little burst up to the
observatory (bathrooms!) - I wash some of the salt from my face and
reapply more sunscreen. Life is now good – we have a 20 mile
descent in front of us with a few minor climbs.
I
wish I were better at descending than I am. I bank right better than
I bank left and I can't figure out why that is. Maybe it's being on
the outside of the curve vs the inside. I know I frustrated a few
folks that got stuck behind me (sorry) and I'll continue to work on
it. Still, 20 miles of downhill is not a bad way to spend the better
part of an hour, even if your hands cramp up a bit. Even if Jane's
Left is waiting for you in another 15 miles.
Sierra
Road. This would be Jane's Left if we were to continue this tortured
analogy, and we are. I think the second worst part about Sierra Road
is the psychological toll it exacts from the very beginning. I cycle
along on Piedmont Road, content in its flatness. And then I make the
turn onto Sierra Road and am confronted by the road going up at what
appears to be a 90 degree pitch in front of me – with no top in
view. I believe the first words out of my mouth were … unprintable.
Okay, I tell myself. Lisa says it's steep but levels out briefly in a
few places to give little breaks. So in this case, “leveling”
means going from 14% to 10% grade. Briefly. How I wanted to stop! But
the hill was so steep I knew that if I stopped, I could never get
back on my bike and start pedaling again. I wouldn't be able to spin
and clip fast enough to get moving without falling over. If I
stopped, I'd be doomed to walking. I'd rather ride at 2mph then walk
it at 3...
At
a flat spot near the top was a clump of trees. I promise myself I
will stop at the tree and catch my breath and cool down some if I
just don't stop now.
The GU I did at the last SAG stop, not 5 miles ago, is gone. I am
eating Honey-Stinger jellies on the way up. The heat, the hill. The
heat, the hill. I am so tired. I can't go on. I am so tired. I don't
think I'm cut out for this after all. This #@#$%!!^%$@ hill! I used
to like Jim, but not so much any more. This is unbearable torture.
What am I doing? Just to the tree. To the tree. To the tree.
The
tree! The tree! The tree at last! I stop. Guzzle water. I think I
take off my helmet? I know it's not the summit but I don't care. I
say to Phil, who is waiting for some teammates, I don't care that
it's not the summit but I promised myself I would stop if I just made
it this far. Lisa and Jim pull up shortly. I see Jim is really
suffering and it almost
makes me feel bad for taking his name in vain a few minutes prior.
Second GU of the hill and we climb the rest of the way. The GU hits
Lisa and me at the same time and we quasi-race the last 20 yards to
the summit. Our roving SAG is there with more water. Yay Kurt!
The
downhill is worth it. It's not too technical so I can keep up pretty
well. Feeling good, we're on the home stretch with one little wall
(half-wall?) before strolling along Calaveras reservoir. Atop one of
the high-voltage power towers, eagles have built a penthouse suite.
One parent was babysitting. Even without binoculars, we could tell
that there was activity in the nest. Eagles are not small birds. A
photographer had a 600mm lens trained on it from the roadside. On the
other side of the road, two small falcons (prairie? Merlin?)
flittered along. Aaah, Spring.
One
more SAG stop (Popsicle!!) and then the home stretch. By this point,
my shorts were fused to my skin and my butt was fused to the bicycle
seat. It would be a delicate operation to dismount. Back at the car,
I extricated myself from the vile shorts while hidden between two
open car doors and a hedge. No energy for inner-car gymnastics to
change, or for false modesty.
Post
ride beer was an Anderson Valley Oatmeal Stout.