Happy Halloween!

The Bianchini Rides Again - A Ride for ALS

Last week, I DNF'ed a 200K because the bike was feeling squirrely. Tire rubbing, chain clanking and chattering, spokes pinging. My legs were fine but I lost my mind. I mean my mental discipline. Confidence in my steed. No time to get the bike looked at or the wheel trued before Saturday. It was the Bianchi's turn in the sun this week.

The alarm chirped crickets at me at 4:45AM on Saturday. I was riding a century for ALS (why freeze with a bucket of ice water when you can sweat? and, oh yeah, you get to eat more this way) -- roll time 7AM in Napa. Even after all this time I wonder why I willingly get up earlier on Saturdays to sit my ass on a bike seat for 10 hours than I do during the week to sit in a comfy office chair. Monday - Friday, snooze, snooze, snooze and maybe one more snooze? Then Sunday rolls along and I awake without an alarm and in a panic because surely I have overslept for something!

It was chillier in Yountville than it was at home. After having ridden so many self-supported rides, participating in a supported century ride with SAG stops meant I could travel light. A small amount of packed food - the usual energy bar chopped up into bite size pieces in the bento box, some GU blocks for quick energy and the mandatory caffeine, but no bananas and PB&J, trail mix, hard boiled eggs (food I tend to take on a 125 mile tour and return to the car with it still in my bag). So advance preparation, while minimal, still afforded me the opportunity to forget my arm warmers. Corinne offered me a spare pair but I decided to tough it out. It wasn't that cold and I tend to run warm when riding. I regretted my decision only briefly.

Much of the route was familiar, set in eastern Napa County. We started out Sage Canyon and climbed gradually by Lake Hennessey. From Lake Hennessey, we climbed gradually through Pope Valley. I had ridden this way once before on a sweltering day in June when I first returned to cycling. I suffered on the climb - hills were much harder back in 2010. We passed through golden hills, vineyards still adorned with glittering purple jewels, followed a creek through cool woodsy areas.

Where my familiarity ended was the turn up Ink Grade. I'd heard lots about it since 2010 but this was my first time up it. It's a long climb with a section of pitchiness. Various parts reminded me of other climbs I'd done: Old La Honda, Tunitas Creek, Morgan Territory, the lower part of Mix Canyon; Even in its unfamiliarity, it was familiar. Seeing the sign "You're halfway to the top!" was a bit discouraging. That's a data point I'd rather not know. Ink Grade is a taste of wild Napa County. Grassland and Live Oaks, modest country houses scattered hither and yon. After 4.3 miles and 1058 feet of climbing, we reached the top.

More important than hearing about the climb, I had also heard what a fun descent Deer Hill Road was. I was not disappointed. Descending the 7.5 miles made me realize how long we had been climbing. It also reminded me of just how freaking fun my Bianchi is. She's a bit heavy, especially with the rack on the back (and the girl on the seat), but corners like a dream and picks up speed like a freight train. Days like this make me wonder why I abandoned her for flashy titanium.

The Deer Hill descent ended abruptly at Silverado Trail. We were half-way done and turned north to find Sterling Vineyards and the next SAG stop. We were back in the "flats" again. Silverado Trail is busy with car traffic, but the vineyard scenery is nothing to take for granted. The road rose gently above the valley floor. An updraft perfumed the air with the smell of fermenting must. I nearly got weak in the knees thinking about the reds I smelled burbling from juice to wine. We ambled along Bennett Lane. We rode past Clos Pegas. I was stunned at the clunky grey concrete; battleship meets walmart meets federal penitentiary. Heavy and foreboding and trying too hard.

Crush! Grape trucks carrying loads of full half-ton bins, porta-potties (kybos!) being towed to vineyards being harvested. Fruit dropped in the vineyards that was moldy or unevenly ripened and didn't make the harvest bin.

I passed a church and idly wondered where the church ladies were and why no one was selling pie. Don't they know there are cyclists out here who need pie??

Oft times, the Trail is plagued with headwinds in every direction. We had a good day. Breezes were mild, there were cautionary signs telling drivers that there were cyclists on the road, the sun was warm but not too warm. I pulled us along for a bit. Every stop delayed TTFB (Time Til First Beer). I was getting impatient and ready to be done. Maybe the caffeine was finally catching up, but I felt stronger at mile 70 than I did at mile 20. There must have been a tailwind...

We happened upon a group of strong young cyclists. Somehow, we were passing them. Wow! We must be having an amazing day! Corinne dropped her chain and we pulled off to fix it. They passed us. A mile or so down the road, we caught up with the first (technically, last) cyclist of the group. I noticed. No shifters. No brakes. Fixie. Ok, so that's why we caught him... and we kept catching other members of the group. Fixie. Fixie. Fixie. Finally, we passed the leaders of their pack. I slowed and said to them, "I knew I had no business passing you before, but now I see the Fixies." We had a laugh and continued on. I praised the Goddess of Derailleurs.

At last we were back at the start. We had a warm welcome and cheers which always makes me feel a little silly. My goal: find the beer before it's gone. Lagunitas is very generous with their charity events. There was still some IPA left. Life was good.

Corinne and John and I noshed a bit and celebrated our efforts.

He is why we rode:  Paul Stimson and others affected by ALS.

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics

This here is a visual representation of my rides since I got my Garmin in February 2012. The green dots at the bottom represent my commute distances. The orange-brown dots at mile 125ish show my R-12 efforts.

Doing it in the Dark

Lights were assembled and mounted. Tail lights were charged. Bottles filled, drive train cleaned, dog transferred for the night. A short nap, dinner and a last minute stop at Trader Joe's landed me at the appointed park and ride with scant minutes to spare. As this is my usual unfortunate modus operandus, I hustled into my warm layers, pumped my tires, tried to remember what I might be forgetting and headed over to hear the pre-ride download.

It was 7:50PM.

I was about to embark on my first full overnight ride: a 230K brevet from Hercules to Davis. Mostly flat with a few bumps but no epic climbs to speak of.

The group of 29 riders left promptly at 8 after taking the sacred Randonneur oath. The first climb sorted us into different pace groups. We had five: Ann, Denise, Ed, Eileen and me.

We passed the oil refineries in Crockett. It smells better at night, or it was the wind.... Crossing the new Carquinez Straights bridge was a treat in the dark: far less traffic noise and less wind than in daylight. I was surprised to see people walking it at 8:30. Where could they possibly be going? Perhaps they thought the same of a cadre of neon lit, reflectorized and redundantly illuminated cyclists who passed by with a friendly "on your left."

Our next town was the badlands of Vallejo. Poor roads cutting through an older depressed shopping district. Although: Royal Jelly Donuts. Do they think it means what I think it means?

A few minutes later and we turned onto Columbus parkway: a left and immediately up. It was here that I discovered I may have overdressed. As we climbed, I heard a rustle to my left. A surprised raccoon crouched and stared from behind a wire fence, while trying to interpret the sights and sounds of five bicycles and their humans.

Lake Herman road is so pretty in the daytime with steep golden hills and happy California cows. An initial climb is followed by a fun descent which morphs into rollers and a final pop to the top. From there, you can see Suisun Bay, what remains of the mothball fleet and a refinery in the distance. At night, the colors muted to greys in the moonlight and the sodium vapor lights shimmered on the refinery towers. The road surface is spotty, however, so the downhills were approached more cautiously than in full sun.

We turned north onto Lopes. The first 100 yards or so is sheltered by a knoll. We turned the bend and were hit with it: headwind. A sturdy one with some nice cross gusts to keep us honest. Or swearing. Lopes is only about 8 miles, but felt longer due to the wind and knowing that we would soon be at our first control. Food! Caffeine!

We found some fellow randos at the first control. Hi-dee Ho's exchanged, they pulled out as we got organized. Receipts to be gained, body fluids to be lost/replaced and a little nutrition to keep us going til the next control.

Our next control was just outside Cordelia. The trail of breadcrumbs from faster randos began here. Most of a jug of water was left for the followers. We didn't dawdle - our next control was at the turn around at the Safeway in Davis.

Passing through Cordelia, we at last left the suburbs and industrial/office parks and were now riding rural. A deer started on our left and raced in the field ahead of us, allowing distance to cross safely in front of us. Good Bambi! My thoughts briefly visited  other wildlife that had crossed in front of me on other rides: bear, fox, coyote...

Riding at night is timeless. There are few external cues to mark the passage of time. Shadows don't shorten and then lengthen. The light doesn't transform from soft to harsh and back to soft again. Cows aren't waiting at the gate for the grain delivery.

The moon follows our turns and migrates slowly across the sky. We felt that it was getting fuller as the night progressed. We couldn't  see our computers. We rode  off the grid. We went as fast as we wanted without the pressures of maintaining a certain speed, although we weren't riding slowly. At times my quads felt fatigued from the pace but then there would be some relief. Each little dip and ride presented a new nano climate. Warm, cool, cold! The cool air kept us alert. Ed was a good sport and pulled us through much of the wind.

When we arrived at the turn-around, I was surprised to discover it was 1;45AM. Time passes even in timelessness. Of course riding nearly 40 miles takes time, but mentally, it was still 11:30PM, just as it was when I last looked at my Garmin at the last control, in the way that you forget children continue to grow even though you haven't seen them in a few years.

At the Safeway, the Rando Fairies had left us part of a package of cookies. Life was good. I diagnosed what was rubbing on my wheel and Denise came to the rescue with a zip tie to button down my light cable. Ed scored some twist ties from the produce department - how was it that he saw them and I never did??

We embarked, stopping a few times to check the route sheet. Are we going the right way?

A large heavy winged bird crossed in flight ahead of us. "An owl!" I exclaimed. It landed on a telephone pole above us and peered down. I shined my headlamp on it. Ed said, "You saw that?" "Um, yeah. I'm always birding when I bike." I replied. It was too dark to identify and it never made a call. And I don't know my owls very well....

Passing by Winters on Putah Creek Road, I remember back to the first time I rode it. How miserable I was. Exhausted and a little peeved and no doubt bonking. It was five years ago when I was first returning to cycling. At the time I had ridden 30 miles and was tuckered out. Tonight, I felt pretty perky despite the hour and the miles already in my legs. Mentally, I acknowledged my progress.

Meanwhile, the same demons follow. We have to ride back Lopes Road in that wind! We have to ride Lake Herman Road into a headwind! When is the next control? Okay, I'm whining. I must need to eat.

We began speculating where we might be when the sun came up. But first, a Bio-break. Who needs one? Ed was a little ahead so we elected to stop. We were riding on Pleasants Valley Road; it was about 4:30AM. We hadn't seen a car in about an hour. We pulled over to a wide spot on the roadside that wasn't someone's front yard. We heard a rumble. Saw lights. Right then, our hands poised on our respective waist bands to get ready to let fly, a large pickup slows. I thought he might pull into the shoulder to see if we were okay. Ann! Your bike! She pulled it out of harm's way. The driver slowed and then drove off.

What are the odds? A road empty for hours and the one time you want a little privacy in the darkness...

We reached Cordelia. I craved an Egg-type sandwich. You know which kind. Ann mentioned a breakfast "burrito" at 7-11. I stayed with the group. I looked longingly at the Denny's. We each devoured a dry and tasteless burrito of a non-breakfast variety. Yum. I continued to look longingly at the Denny's. The Rando Fairies have left us water and a Mexican Coke!

The moon has set over the western hills. Now at Lopes Road, we were getting the same head/cross winds we had eight hours earlier. Ann worried about the headwinds on Lake Herman Road. "We'll do it no matter what," I said. Ann replied, "But one way it won't suck." 

And we got through Lopes Road. And it wasn't as bad as I had been dreading. And we got through Lake Herman Road and it wasn't as bad as Ann had been dreading. And now we reversed our course through the badlands of Vallejo in the donzerly light. People were starting their Sunday as we finished our Saturday. At the end of the Carquinez Bridge, we met some cyclists waiting for their ride group. 'Morning! Did they think we were just starting out, I wonder, as we chugged up the hill to the Vista Point. 

It's frustrating to hit a bunch of red lights on the home stretch.

But then we pulled into the parking lot where Kimber and Bruce had fresh coffee and fresher donuts waiting for us, the Lanterne Rouge.

I can't wait til next year!

Felton-empire grade and the lies that ridewithgps told me

We pulled out of The Farm promptly at 10:15, only an hour and a quarter past our planned start time. Morning delays and a let's-change-that-tire (a good thing since the tire we removed was disintegrating as it pulled off the rim) and a round up of the wily shepherd, lightening of the load and other preride bidness and we were off! Being a chicken-shite, I pushed my bike up the gravel driveway hillock while JB rode. Show off.

Then we were off down the driveway, through the gate and further down the hill to the main road. (I said to myself, this is going to hurt on the return). 

The first turn put us onto a lovely shaded road, dappled sunshine and a dry creek bed. I got a little ahead (guilty again of starting out with too much vim and vigor, hopefully not paying for it later). JB called out "left on Bean Creek". He passed me at the turn and took off fast. I was wearing my sunglasses and in and out of sharply contrasting light and frustratedly couldn't go as fast as I wanted to keep up. I tend to take first passes at a descent conservatively, not knowing angles and road conditions. 

Bean Creek seemed a popular thoroughfare. Several cyclists were climbing as we descended. Although it wasn't killer-steep, I was happy to be on the downhill side of things. 

I was, however getting concerned. I knew we had a big climb ahead. I knew the numbers. I had drawn the route. Still, As we continued to plummet into the abyss, the tangible aspect to the climb ahead was becoming increasingly - er - tangible. As in, I'm going to have to climb the f*ck out of this on my way to the Coast. 

Our next turn put us on a fairly Trafficky street. The name escapes me at the moment. A great descent into Felton. The pavement was grooved; I worried a bit about a groove catching my tire but really, the traffic was more of a concern. I'd like to return and do the descent at 7AM instead of 11AM. Even at a conservative pace, it was fun and fast. 

The road leveled out as we approached Felton. We stopped at the traffic light and waited our turn. Across the street, coincidentally the exact direction we were headed, the road turned into a wall.

 "That's a welcome sight," I said. 

"Felton-Empire Road," the street sign replied. 

When JB proposed the ride, I said, I can climb. I'm okay with steep as long as it's not 4 miles at 15%. Give me the major roads. I drew the route on ridewithgps - the site I normally use for routes. It tends to inflate overall climbing. I magnified the climb on F-E and traced it with my cursor. A few glimpses of 11 & 12% but mostly 7  & 8%. Doable, I thought. 

And so we cross the intersection and immediately climb at 15-16% for a good quarter mile. THIS was NOT on the menu! Leveling out to single digits (ie., 9%) seemed flattish. 

The road became slightly more forgiving for a bit. But then I remembered.  We have 2000 feet to go and about 5 miles to do it in. Which means.... Flat here = suffer there. Soon the road turned into the trees. We wound around. Hairpins became a little tighter, a little steeper. I was scared to look at my Garmin. I frequently saw silly readings of 16, 17, no! 21%! grades. Then 12% seemed like a relief. 

At one point I saw the grade creep over 30% - even to 35% - but I believe that had to be bogus. Or I was in deep denial. Fortunately, whatever the truth, it didn't last long. Like many other roads, as we neared the summit, the climb became more gradual and our energy returned. My inner stinker surfaced: I'd been ahead by maybe 50 yards the entire climb and when it came to reaching the summit, I wasn't about to give that up. I up shifted and stood in the pedals and sprinted at a whopping 8mph to the stop sign. Want my autograph? 

Yeah. Exactly. 

We crossed Empire Grade and descended Ice Cream Grade. I've heard of this - it's a hard climb and there's no ice cream! WTF! However, "luck" was with us and webhappened to be traveling in the proper direction on Ice Cream Grade. A fun and steep descent turned into a gradual climb as we approached Pine Flats. 

We were still mostly in shade, the canopy     protecting us from over exposure. 

A left turn onto Pine Flats started us on our way on the true descent to the coast. Fast, sweet, fairly good road surface with decent sight lines made for a fun drop towards the coast. I have ridden in the area before but have always descended Empire Grade (also fun!). 

Forgetting that Pine Flats turned into Bonny Doon, I mistakenly turned us to the right when I saw the Bonny Doon street sign. I figured it out quickly without too many bonus miles (thank you, Death Ride training) and we resumed on course. 

I had forgotten the two 2 mile stretches of Trucks on Cheese: descending 10% grades that awaited us as we screamed to highway 1. What a blast! 

Highway 1 greeted us with magnificent tailwinds. We hauled ass to Santa Cruz in a personal best kinda way. To maintain the scenic nature, we followed West Cliff Drive past the lighthouse, down the slope and by the Boardwalk. Lemmejussay, if you've ever ridden your bike across the Golden Gate Bridge on a Summer weekend, you will understand my pain at riding by the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. OY!

After tootling through Santa Cruz (because you just can't race through there: Banana Slugs don't race) we had one last bump before the home stretch bump. It was getting warm and the road more exposed. We took it slow. 

Finally, we were back at the approach road. Surface: bad. Turkeys: present. Hills: f*ckyouverymuch. You know those houses with the driveways that are long and steep and you see those and say, "damn, I'm sure glad I don't have to ride up *that* at the end of a ride"

So on my way past the turkey and the gnat cloud, which was quite enamored  of me, and before I almost veered into a ditch and fell over, I saw at least one 25% grade flash on my Garmin display. It was precisely at that point I realized that we had failed to purchase post-ride beer. 

Wild Iris Roads

“What time are we rolling? 7:30?”

“8AM,” I reply.

“No, it was 7:30.”

“No, it's 8. Jim and I are in the Park and Ride parking lot and rolling at 8.”

“Balls. I'm going to be a few minutes late.”

But of course he would have been on time if we were rolling a half hour earlier?

Our party, this week being D-Squared Kjibby, headed to the Starbucks for our inaugural receipt on the Permanent that rolls from Novato to Cazadero and back. The route is a repeat of a Brevet we did in February with the Santa Rosa Cycling Club. The weather promises to be better than two months ago (wind! Drizzle! Rain!), but not as balmy as I had dressed for (sleeveless jersey and no knee warmers – it's APRIL!!!).

Over all, the route is moderately hilly, with 6,600 feet of climbing over 125 miles. The cruel part is the last climb is about 1.5 miles long and 12% grade for most of it at mile 108. But I can't start whining about  that now!

The marine layer obscures the sun. I'm committing the sin of wearing arm warmers and a sleeveless jersey, leaving the dreaded gap of my shoulder exposed. This is against the Rules, of course, but I am being practical about my poor planning instead of cow-towing to the absent governing body of the Velominati.

We roll at 8:25, heading out Novato Boulevard past Stafford lake. Short rollers cut through green hills dotted with Happy Cows ™. We drop to Pt. Reyes-Petaluma Road and cut to Hicks Valley Road, the approach to our first bigger climb of the day. I like having a good climb earlyish in the ride. The effort gets my blood moving and my muscles warm. Otherwise I feel somewhat sluggish for far too long. Wilson Hill is marked by a sharp blind right turn. If you haven't downshifted just before the turn, you will either fall over or break your chain, for you are turning into a wall. Fortunately (?) our group has done this climb many times and we are prepared.

The only way for me to tackle a wall like this is to get my legs spinning as fast as they can with whatever momentum I may have accumulated and then gradually slow to an impressive 2mph pace. For the first 100 yards or so, I'm out in front. Then Kurt passes me and I eat his dust. It's a fine dust. Only the best dust for me. Then Denise. I pace her as best I can, mucking on to her wheel from 30 feet back. Then. I hear breathing. Heavy, raspy breathing. Great. A freaking pervert is chasing me up Wilson Hill. He pulls just close enough to where I can see who it is literally breathing down my neck. I look over at him. He doesn't make eye contact. (Don't notice me coming up on your left to pass you. Whistle whistle). I push harder on the down stroke. Nothing is said. The grade levels (well, shallows) imperceptibly. I pedal harder and pull off maybe 20 feet. The sound of his breathing fades a bit. This effort puts me a little closer to Denise and I pass her. Alas, there is hill left. The slope kicks up again and she's now ahead. The breathing behind me is more distant. The top is in sight. I push harder again and find myself in front of Denise. I start to relax. I begin to let my guard down. The summit is right there! From nowhere, heavy breather is sprinting to the finish. Bastard! I dig down with everything I've got and pull away. I hear him laugh and congratulate me. We both hope we won't pay for it later in the day. Our friendly competition set the tone for the day. We traded wins and barbs most of the day and made each other work harder than we had to to get the job done.

With an out and back, what goes up must come down. And, alas, what goes down must also come up. The fun and fast descent on the north side of Wilson Hill would lurk in our minds for the next 8 hours. We would be climbing it at mile 108. Which is just plain rude, I say.

stock photo stolen from the internets

But in betwixt, there was bucolic countryside. And in between, fields of wild irises, Highland Cows, Tomales Bakery and lunch in Cazadero. But we needed to run the rollers between Tomales and Valley Ford. The first one is a sharp reminder that we have sat too long at the bakery and eaten too many cheezy-bread sticks (loaded with butter) and our legs have cooled off. It hurts. Soon the energy returns to our legs as the pastries enter our bloodstream. It's quick to Valley Ford. We lament as we pass Freestone Bakery. We lament as we reach the top of Bohemian Highway in Occidental that we're not stopping at Barley and Hops. Jim, Kurt and Denise are ahead. I check on Dave, see he has crested and take off down the hill after DK-J. When I catch them, I've got some speed up and I shoot on past. I maintain for awhile and then ease up. It's lonely out in front and more fun to ride with my buddies. We hit Monte Rio as a group and turn to the west and onto Cazadero.

At some point during the ride, Jim has made a comment about the wind which I didn't hear. Based on Dave's reaction, it was something that would invoke the angry Headwinds Gods. Dave decides to teach Jim a lesson. After lunch, we head back whence we came. Kurt pulls for a long time, keeping us at a merry (personal record!) clip. Kurt rolls off the front and Jim maintains the pace. My butt is killing me, my legs feel fried and I'm whining on the inside. But I stay on. Jim leads us back to 116. We turn east and Jim rolls off the front. A strong pull for a considerable distance. Dave is now in front. He gives 3 pedal strokes and rolls off. As he passes, he says, “as soon as you are in front, roll off. We're going to make Jim pull.” Denise is now in front. She rolls off. I roll, and as I'm sliding back past Jim, I see him grinning. He knows something is up. Jim is out in front again, having had a 2 minute rest instead of the 20 or so minute rest he would have had.

We begin the climb back up to Occidental. It's mostly gradual and annoyingly long. I see my compadres pull away from me. I'm so weak. So pathetic. So tired. So-I have 50 more miles to go-whiny. Dave and Kurt are leading the way with Denise and Jim close behind. Kurt gradually pulls further out in front. I keep Jim and Denise in my sights, but am still a good quarter mile back. My quads are on fire, my butt is aching to the point of nausea. Finally, I pass under the Camp Meeker arch that spans the road. Close now, I tell myself. My psyche picks up a bit. “You're not tired, it says. This is what Getting Stronger feels like.”

So many of these rides I'm expecting to coast. Training for Death Ride the first season, every week was the hardest ride I'd ever done. So now I expect to be able to coast. I'm in shape! I tell myself. And yet, I see riders who are much much faster and stronger climbing the same hills and finishing the ride just as whipped as me. [But faster]. As a friend says, “Remember when you're whining, the other guy is whining too.” I've forgotten – or refused to remember – what training feels like. What it takes to get stronger. If the ride isn't hard, I'm wasting the day. When does it get easy? Recently I've been saying, “I don't want to work that hard” instead of Embracing the Suck.

The newspaper spins, the dates and headlines change and eventually, we find ourselves back close to the base of Wilson Hill (the hard way). [oh, you youngsters will never understand that reference]. Feeling low on life and low on confidence, I eat a shot block. We chat for another minute. Hmmmm. I'd better have a second one. The hill awaits. We pass a ranch driveway on the right. Hanging from the Bar is a life-size plastic (?) horse and a bicycle that has ridden its last ride. We take the fateful left bend that dips us down into the pits of despair where the Wilson Hill Dementors linger to suck out our life forces before the 12% grade. At least it's still light out, I say to myself. At least it's not raining.

Let the trudgery begin! I restart my new mantra. “I'm not tired....” Wilson is the last real climb. Once over it, there are the rollers on Novato Boulevard and then beer! Less than 20 miles to beer! Finally at the top, we negotiate down hill order. Jim is fastest so he goes first. I go next, then Denise. I tell everyone not to worry when I miss the turn, that I'm going to overshoot it and circle back instead of making that sharp left at speed or slowing down to take the turn. I lose a lot of momentum that way. It takes me a minute or so to catch Jim. We ride Hicks Valley pretty hard, having decided to regroup at the intersection. A jog back to Novato Boulevard and we're finished in 10 miles. 

A Permanent Tale of Del Puerto Canyon

When we rode this in November with the San Francisco Randonneurs, Del Puerto Canyon was a brown, dry dirge of a canyon. It was Bob Dylan without... no. it was Bob Dylan, complete with the nasally, atonal misphrasing that some interpret as genius. The writing is solid, but please, someone else sing it.

This day, we started at Starbucks (I know, I know, but the recipe called for it) at 7:45, duly retrieving our receipts at 7:31AM as instructed. Gulping our coffee, we headed off. The first leg is through the office parks of Pleasanton, through Livermore and then venturing out by a few wineries. Depressingly not open at 8:15AM – who doesn't need a major demotivator so early on?

Today was also the day of the Valley Spokesman Cinderella Ride – an all women ride supported by the men of the Valley Spokesman Club. We got a few friendly waves from the SAG support waiting for the 'Ellas to ride through as we headed towards our first climb.

Tesla Road is a gentle warm up climb. It starts fairly gradually, giving a few fits and starts to push on with some rollers to recover by. After a bit, the road kicks up and downshifting is in order. We are passed by many trucks hauling dirt bikes. Nearly if not all are very polite and give us lots of room. At the summit, there is a bike club gathering, having approached the peak from the other side. Only a few (the first arrivals) are there, waiting for the rest. I feel pretty good on the climb. I have good energy, it's not too hot and I'm paying attention to my nutrition. We haven't ridden very far so I'm not vulnerable to falling behind as yet...

Descending Tesla into Corral Valley is somewhat technical but not overwhelmingly so. The curves are banked properly. There are two turns – a right, then a left – that corkscrew down on you as you are in them. The cornering becomes tighter and tighter as you move through it. No spacing out here (or on any descent). Eventually, the road opens up into this incredible run-out. You're going fast, you have a 1-2% negative grade and you can haul ass.

For me, the first descent of the day is always a bit squirrelly.  It takes me a bit to remember how I fit on my bike, how my body moves with it, relearning my confidence in turns.... With Tesla, every time I've descended it, it has been at the beginning of the day. I'd like to correct that so I feel more comfortable!

Kurt climbed Tesla faster than us. He's a stronger rider and has been for some time. We're used to this.

On the back side, I descended last. I love a good run out. I love momentum. I will take that momentum as long as it will effing allow me to do so. As a short woman who carries some dead weight, I need to capitalize on my strengths. Jim hit the flats before me. No surprise. He always kills me on the downhills. On the flats, I knew I had my work cut out. I love love love sprinting. Give me a high gear and let me mash it. With a -1-2% and a tailwind? I'm invincible. So I hauled along. Eventually, I caught Jim, hollered “hop on!” and kept going. He accelerated and we paced along at a mighty fine clip, still wondering where Kurt was. After another few miles, I saw Kurt a bit up the road. We didn't sprint, but we gave no ground and closed the distance. “There you are,” he said.

The Central Valley is flat. It's really hard to know just how flat it is until one rises over a freeway interchange and sees the entire region from an elevation of 20 feet above the valley floor. F-l-a-t. We needed to traverse this from Tracy to Patterson before climbing back over the ridge(s) to Livermore.

“Oh, flat riding? What could you possibly say about this?” I hear you cry.

Crappy pavement. Tailwinds enough to make you think you're strong and glorious. Then headwinds to humble you. Your ass parked in the exact same position for 30 miles. Turn the corner. Cross winds. Turn again. Headwinds. More crappy pavement. Amazing how that improved once we crossed into Stanislaus County. Almost like the Sonoma/Marin border.

Finally, we reached Control #3, the highly delectable Subway spot in beautiful freeway-interchange Patterson. We ate, we quaffed, we did-the-necessary. And we were off. First turn is up a frontage road with crazy lumpy pavement (after all, it's really just a freeway on/off ramp, what's it matter?), under the freeway.

We approach the segment we've been looking forward to all day – and really, for the past six months. We rode in November. The clocks had just been changed to standard time, the light was flat back then. It was not a photographer's dream, shall we say.

Fast forward to April.

The first turn into Del Puerto Canyon reveals rustic countryside. This day, five or six cows were grazing in scrub near the road. Like meth addicts who weren't willing to venture further up the hillside to where the sweet grass might be. THIS IS HERE NOW! I heard them cry.

The canyon is broken up into several topographies. The road literally divides two. On the east side is orchard land. It's stony and rugged with steep hillsides.  Undergrowth almost makes it look neglected, but you know it's not. To the west, steep to rolling grazing land. Further in, the canyon morphs to more grazing, but with many many bee-boxes to give one hope about our agricultural future. There are amazingly steep slopes, some with bovines, some not.

What I noticed most was that the slopes, whatever their purpose, or wherever they were located, were blanketed with nearly the same green hue. What changed my perception was the under painting. Soils ranged from dusky to roan to mauve to rusty. Overlayed upon that was an airbrushing of emerald green with occasional highlights of yellow. The mix of the two presented a delightful palette that varied with soil, the angle, and steepness of the slope and how it faced the light. An artist's treasure.

As we rode, the hillsides grew steeper. Some places, the grasses didn't flourish beyond a certain altitude. Or the rain-facing slope was green but another plane was browner. Deeper in the canyon, the hills became rockier and the soil more gravelly. The road followed a creek which flowed gently away from us.

Because we were climbing. It wasn't steep – 1, 2 or 3% mostly for 17 or 18 miles. Of course, it looked flat. And the wind was blowing down the canyon, right in our faces. I commented that we'd like this breeze when we got to the Wall. Meanwhile, I felt pathetic and beat down and so so weak. I couldn't keep up and didn't want to try. I sat in the back, grinding it out in gears too low for the grade, having my own personal suffer-fest pity party. For 18 miles. That's a long time to be in your head in negative space. I called a time-out and we stopped at the park. My sit bones were aching, making me a little nauseous. I needed time out of the saddle. We regrouped and proceeded on. I dropped off the back again but I was okay with it. I needed to fight my own monsters.

At last, the sharp right-hand bend before the wall. I stopped, ate a GU block, took off my vest and redistributed my water. Beyond the bend, a 17% grade awaits. And when you can't go any slower and stay upright, a cattle grate. When you really need to keep your front wheel perfectly straight and your bike wants to weave. I held my breath and... made it! Loyal reader will know that this day marks the one-year anniversary of my cattle grate incident, so I'm especially wary.

Whether the GU block actually helped physically or mentally doesn't matter. It helped. Period. Once I was finally on the wall instead of dreading it, I felt better. It is steep. I told myself about all the other steep climbs I've done that are longer than this one. Sierra. Ebbetts. Rancheria. Ft. Ross. Last time, I stopped on this climb. I promised myself I wouldn't again. Ever. I looked for the markers that indicated distance from the summit. I remember roads and bookmark personal landmarks, even when I don't think I am. Sometimes I'm happy – oh, I'm here already? Other times: Where's the bloody mailbox with the thing?? Other people watch their Garmins – they know the peak altitude of the climb and watch how many feet they have left. Sometimes, they feel compelled to share that information with me. I don't want to know the numbers in advance. I don't want to count down: 1100 more feet, 1000 more feet, 750 more feet. That crushes me.

The summit opens up to grass lands and rolling hills. Finally to the Junction. A brief stop here, two more climbs then descents and flats, I reassure myself. Headwinds on Mines Road require us to pedal on the low grade descents. The same wind that had us ticking along at 24-25 mph in the morning was now in our face and we were pedaling fairly vigorously to maintain 17-18. As I said to Jim, at least we're getting a return on our efforts! 

Kurt had somewhere to be and rode on ahead. Jim and I enjoyed the brief downhill after the Junction and started up Horseshoe Hill (at least that's what I call it – the summit is a major horseshoe type turn that starts downward at the apex of the shoe). It had been a while since I rode Mines (6 months, to be precise) and I couldn't remember which came first: Horseshoe Hill or Ruthie's Hill, as we've dubbed it. Trudging along another freaking low grade climb that maxxed out at around 8% here and there. My quads were protesting, my ass was protesting, my stiff elbow was protesting. I was having an entire Berkeley experience whilst on my bicycle. Protests everywhere! I was lagging behind Jim. At the summit, he stopped to put on layers. I checked in: “You mind if I get a head start?” Nope. Off I went. We hooked up again fairly soon and pulled each other through the wind, trying to make the most of the elevation loss. The last sharp climb was beckoning and we pushed on. What were our options? At last, the top of the final real climb. From here on, it was flats and short rollers until the fantastic plunge back down into Livermore.

Jim led the way down and then pulled us back to Tesla Road in a show of power and determination. I clung to his wheel. 15 miles to go until First Beer. I could smell the hops. I could taste the Pliny. Life was good. Except for the freaking wind.

We pulled into Starbucks at 6:30, 10 hours and 45 minutes after we had departed. Happy to be done, happy to have done it.