Dear BMW Driver:

Dear BMW Driver,

You are driving the Ultimate Driving Machine. We get that. We expect you to put that superb steering and rapid acceleration to use at every opportunity. Even if it makes you look like an asshole. We drivers of lesser vehicles expect you to be an asshole. As a BMW driver, you are a known quantity. If you can jump lanes to fill that gap and move forward 1.5 car lengths, you will do so. You are predictable. Other drivers on the road can anticipate your next asshole-move and respond accordingly. You know. You treat other BMW drivers with the same accord. It's professional courtesy.

So, dear BMW driver that I encountered today, your hesitancy and uncertainty really mucked things up. It wasn't that you were unsure of where you were going; you committed to your lane early (first clue) instead of cutting in at the last minute. Then, on the freeway on-ramp, you clotted things up by not taking charge and passing everyone else while using the shoulder so you could get to the freeway first. Your lack of initiative confused the pack and, frankly, created a driving hazard. Suddenly, there were two cars neck and neck. Had you simply accelerated, as your Ultimate Driving Machine is designed to do, with the gas pedal on the right and all, the confusion would have ended and the rest of us wouldn't have been sitting silently in our cars in stunned disbelief.

If you're going to drive your BMW that way, trade it in for a Ford Marshmallow and end the madness.

Signed,

Still Missing my BMW